tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1915362267375371325.post7264415722281664063..comments2022-09-27T13:14:49.782-07:00Comments on Heart Radical: Still On The Fence: More Thoughts on Life Balance and Having Number TwoAnne Liu Kellorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04194237835279617391noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1915362267375371325.post-25285711075532774362012-12-13T20:13:00.068-08:002012-12-13T20:13:00.068-08:00Thanks, Dorkus Maximus! (First I thought, who is t...Thanks, Dorkus Maximus! (First I thought, who is this? Then I realized it was you!). Yes, I think that's a good point. Many of the writers friends I know well only have one child, and I once heard someone on a Motherhood and Writing panel give the advice (in the answer to the "how do you do it?" question, "Just have one child." Obviously this comment by a stranger stuck with me! I guess I don't have too many writer friends who have more than one, although surely they are out there in masses... It certainly would be comforting if choosing to have one was more the norm. I guess anytime you go against the dominant trend, you wrestle with a lot more "am I doing the right thing" questions, especially if you have dual longings. Still on the fence here, but leaning slightly more towards yes than no most days. (then moments of NO! hit me periodically with a wave of relieving clarity) and then back to the, yeah, but, probably still... so it goes. :)Anne Liu Kellorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04194237835279617391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1915362267375371325.post-37962281777686783202012-12-13T16:51:25.115-08:002012-12-13T16:51:25.115-08:00I completely identify with 100% of what you've...I completely identify with 100% of what you've said! Though I can't offer any feedback on the right path (as I am equally confused) I can certainly offer commiseration! One thing I CAN say is that when it comes to comparing yourself to others, perhaps think of a smaller sample size, i.e. the other writers in your life who have children, and see if that changes your perspective? I say this b/c now that I'm back in my own professional community, I am reminded that within this specific community it is not so uncommon to have one child, and that is more comforting than I thought it would be. Just a thought!Lana Van Boven, MS CCC-SLPhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09211952589322092367noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1915362267375371325.post-54776185621768600952012-11-30T22:39:26.272-08:002012-11-30T22:39:26.272-08:00I think you are probably on to something as to the...I think you are probably on to something as to the 'biological trick' aspect, Nico, but of course there's more than this too at play... But yes, it is definitely worth questioning the cultural assumptions at play in big decisions, well said. Or just life-long held assumptions that two would be a nice number of kids to have. Certainly there are plenty of women who don't have baby lust, or more and more so it seems these days, now that it is more socially acceptable for women not to have children. (Relatively speaking.) Although then, too, who knows what other life factors and assumptions are at play for these women that might negate the 'biological drive/trick' factors. Alright, that's enough abstract musing for me for a night. In the meantime, I just like hearing about people's experiences and choices-- whether they felt obvious to them at the time, or were hard.Anne Liu Kellorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04194237835279617391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1915362267375371325.post-28557076809073591542012-11-30T21:33:46.059-08:002012-11-30T21:33:46.059-08:00What an interesting post. Lots of food for thought...What an interesting post. Lots of food for thought! I know many women who have had 3+ children and continue to feel the grip of baby-lust well into their 50's. I'm probably going to be on my own with this opinion, but I think baby-lust is a biological trick and should be given limited audience when making life altering decisions. I know, I'm kinda cold-hearted. I like your musings on the potential influence of social expectations (gender role stuff? work role identity stuff?)on this. It seems that social expectations around our life-roles can creep into our sphere of influence so easily that it's worth questioning when making important decisions.Nicohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16504853720153024320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1915362267375371325.post-21369030714890200282012-11-29T14:02:20.398-08:002012-11-29T14:02:20.398-08:00Someone just told me they had difficulty posting c...Someone just told me they had difficulty posting comments here. I hope others of you haven't had that problem, too! If you do, and don't know me via Facebook, feel free to let me know at alkellor@gmail.com<br />The last thing I'd want is to miss out on having a dialogue with new (or old) readers!<br />Thanks,<br />AnneAnne Liu Kellorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04194237835279617391noreply@blogger.com